Agent Tales
by Krika1119
Summary: Ever wondered what the story of RVB would be like if two more Freelancer Agents got involved? Well no need to think any longer! Prepare for a different take on the story starring the Blood Gulch crew! Be prepared for an action packed, but hilarious ride! Rated M for violence and mentioning of sexual content.
1. The Rogues

**Krika: What's up guys? Welcome to Agent Tales! Now the world this story sets in is the Halo world, however it takes place in the world of Red vs. Blue, the famous Halo machinima created by RoosterTeeth. This follows Agent Rhode Island and Agent Nebraska, two Agents who have NEVER been introduced, so that makes them completely blank slates. Also both agents will be wearing Halo Reach era armor at first before changing from Halo 3, to Halo 4, to Halo 5 era armor. Enjoy! I do not own Halo or Red vs. Blue. Also this is to be considered an AU version of the original story.**

* * *

On some backwater planet, a hidden facility ran by the secretive Project Freelancer was currently under siege. By who, you may ask? Well...let's take a look.

A Freelancer soldier was tossed over some railing, doing a Wilhelm scream in the process, another soldier looked over, "Wilhelm!"

Some sniper fire took out some more soldiers until a soldier walked out from behind a pillar with a sniper rifle, being the source of it. This soldier was a she and was wearing a Mk. V (B) helmet along with Security shoulder armor and an ODST chest plate, with the armor being a mix of dark green and bright red trim. This soldier was a rogue Freelancer Agent, codenamed Agent Rhode Island, "Hey Neb, how's it going on your end?"

A male voice spoke to the Agent on the comms, "Pretty good Rhode. But you do know we gotta get this done fast and get out just as fast, right?"

"Eh, don't sweat it. Pretty sure we'll-," a sniper shot sailed over Rhode's head, making her duck, "Son of a bitch!"

"What just happened?!" The guy on the comms shouted in concern.

"Some asshole thought he could just hit me in the head with a bullet!" Rhode Island said in anger as she got a grenade launcher from her back and fired it at where the sniper shot came from, the grenade exploding and a soldier came flying out of the spot, "Should've aimed better, bitch!"

"Okay Rhode, charges are set!" Neb, or rather Agent Nebraska, said on the comms.

"Nice! How much time?" Rhode Island asked.

"One minute," Nebraska said.

"...I'm sorry, what?" Rhode asked in disbelief.

"Yeah...also, incoming!" Nebraska said as he ran around a corner with some soldiers gaining on him. He was wearing a recon helmet with Operator shoulder armor with a Collar/Breacher chest armor, with his colors being steel with a white trim, holstered on his back was a DMR and in his hands were two jet packs.

"Oh come on!" Rhode Island shouted as she ran away from the soldiers with Nebraska, "I thought you said you wouldn't get spotted?!"

"I say a lot of things!" Nebraska shouted, handing her a jet pack and they put them on when they came outside of the facility and come up on a cliff and turn to the soldiers, who aimed their weapons at them.

"Alright, asshats! Drop your weapons and put your hands in the air!" One of the soldiers shouted at them.

Rhode Island just placed her sniper rifle and grenade launcher on her back and she and Nebraska slowly raised their hands before they fell backwards off the cliff, firing up their jetpacks and flying low.

"Shoot them!" A soldier said as they opened fire at them, but couldn't get any hits before a soldier interrupted them on the comms.

"Um...guys? There's a bomb…"

"What? Then get the bomb team in there!"

"Yeah, that's the thing...there's only six seconds…"

"Oh...son of a-" the soldier couldn't finish his sentence until the bomb went off, blowing up the entire facility.

 ***Unknown Location***

Rhode and Nebraska landed near a mass of brush and took their jet packs off before Nebraska moved some brush off, revealing a hidden compound that they went inside and tossed the jet packs into a storage area.

"Worst bomb planting ever, Neb," Rhode said, sitting on a chair and taking her helmet off, showing that she had short green, obviously dyed, hair with blue eyes, and she had a fair tan.

"Hey, I was being rushed. You were the one that tripped the alarm and sent the soldiers in a frenzy," Nebraska said and took his own helmet off, revealing that he had messy black hair with similarly colored black eyes.

"Hey, I needed to get this!" Rhode Island said, holding up a data unit, "This has stuff on a simulation base that the facility was watching"

"And that's important, why…?" Nebraska asked, looking skeptical.

Rhode plugged the drive into a computer and pulls up the files, "Apparently this base in particular got treated to some nice equipment. Of course most of it was experimental. But the files also said the sim troopers there somehow got their hands on an A.I."

"How'd they manage that?" Nebraska asked, looking a bit confused.

"Hell if I know. And I don't think they even know what they got yet. This file says that they got the A.I. about two days ago," Rhode Island responded, transferring the files to Nebraska, "Come on. We're heading over there and getting that A.I. While also looting the place of course"

"Seriously? Why don't you just wait and think of a plan for once?" Nebraska said to her.

Rhode put her helmet back on, "We need to get to that A.I. first Neb, or else someone else will"

"You just want to raid the place because you wanted an A.I. when we were still in Project Freelancer. Speaking of, why do we keep using our code names?" Nebraska said to her.

"I don't know. I grew to like the code names. And when have I ever said that I badly wanted an A.I.?" Rhode Island asked him.

Nebraska just stared at her for a moment.

* * *

 ***Flashback***

Rhode Island was looking at Theta, who of course was with North, "So...that's your A.I., huh?"

"Yeah. This is Theta," North said to her.

"So...what do I have to do to get one of my own?" Rhode asked, looking at the fellow agent.

"Uh...well, as far as I know, only the top-ranking agents are getting A.I."

"Well that's bullshit if you ask me. But, uh...can you try and...you know, help me out in that department?" Rhode asked.

Theta and North just looked at each other before looking back at her.

* * *

 ***Present***

"Well you wouldn't stop bothering York or North about it," Nebraska said to her as he got his helmet on.

"Hey, I just found it a bit unfair. You can't judge me for thinking that. I mean, you complained about not having access to highly explosive stuff," Rhode Island said to him, grabbing some ammo for her rifle and grenade launcher, but also grabs two magnums as well.

"I'm a goddamn demolitions expert! Plus I like blowing stuff up," Nebraska said to her, getting some ammo for his DMR and grabs an Assault Rifle.

"Which is exactly why they stripped you of your explosive privileges. You used to always try and solve your problems by blowing stuff up," Rhode Island said, opening the compound and they left via a Mongoose towards the simulation bases.

* * *

 ***About Two Hours Later***

Rhode Island and Nebraska stopped several meters from the bases and were standing on a hill, with Rhode using her rifle to scout the area.

"It...looks pretty empty to me," Rhode Island said, lowering her rifle.

"Maybe they already moved out. Let's split up. I'll check out the red bass while you check out the blue," Nebraska said, heading down towards the red base.

"Okay...blue base…" Rhode said to herself, heading towards the opposite base, she looked around, "Hello?! Anyone here?!" She waited for a moment but doesn't get a response, "Huh...guess not-" something hits her in the back of her head and she's knocked out cold.

* * *

 ***Red Base***

"Now...let's see…" Nebraska was looking over the base from the outside until he hears a gun cock behind him, "Oh great…"

"Alright. Turn around slowly," a male voice said to the Freelancer.

Nebraska turned around and was met by a red soldier who was wearing standard-issue armor, "Haven't seen someone like you around here. You a Blue spy or something?"

"No. I'm not a Blue soldier. I'm a special ops from Command," Nebraska lied to the soldier, with the Red lowering his weapon.

"Command, huh? I never gotten anything about them sending someone over," the soldier said.

"They sent me to investigate something here. Something you or the other team found. An A.I." Nebraska said to him.

"An A.I.? What do I look like, some kind of egg-head? We haven't seen any A.I. around here. But if you're wanting to find something, you can probably go see the blues. But I wouldn't actually recommend it. They've been pretty trigger-happy as of late. Like something has them spooked," the soldier said.

"Uh oh…" Nebraska said in worry.

* * *

 ***Blue Base***

"Oh...my head…" Rhode Island woke up, but found a few Blue soldiers surrounding her with their weapons aimed at them, and she found that she was unarmed, "Well...this doesn't look good"

"We recommend you keep quiet, prisoner, until our commanding officer gets back," one of the soldiers wearing a CQB helmet said.

"You guys are a bunch of cowards, you know that? And rude! Knocking a girl out when she's not looking? Seriously?" Rhode said to them, sounding a bit annoyed.

"Hey, bitch, how did you think we would react? A shady person from out of nowhere walks up to our base, and we decide to deal with it. Simple as that," a Blue wearing an E.V.A. helmet said.

Rhode Island looked at him, "Call me a bitch again, and I'll rip off what makes you a man. Capisce?"

The Blue soldier took a step back from her.

"Threatening my men? You got some balls, lady," a woman soldier wearing full Scout (Halo Reach era) armor walked up.

"And who are you?" Rhode Island asked.

"Commander Alexa. I lead the Blue Army forces here. And who the hell are you? Some kind of spy the Reds sent?" Alexa said to her.

"So this place isn't abandoned after all. No, I'm not from the Red Army or whatever. I'm from Command and came here looking for something. You wouldn't happen to know about an A.I. would you?" Rhode Island asked.

"I asked you a question. And I'm not going to ask you again," Alexa said to her.

"Fine. Special Agent Rhode Island," Rhode answered.

"The hell kind of name is Rhode Island?" A Blue wearing a Pilot helmet asked.

"It's a code name dumbass. I'm special ops," Rhode Island said back to the soldier.

"Just a question, geez," The Blue soldier said.

"Now, about that A.I. Do you know where it is?" Rhode asked Alexa directly.

"You must be mistaken if you think I'm just going to give you that information," Alexa said back to her.

"...You're one stubborn bitch, aren't you?" Rhode Island said before getting punched by the commander, "OW!"

* * *

 ***Red Base***

Nebraska was looking at Blue Base through a sniper scope, "Yeah...she hasn't come out of there…"

"You mean your friend that you came with, right? Why would she go over to Blue Base anyhow?" The red soldier from before asked him.

"We came here looking for an A.I. Talking to your team and Blue team was the best course of action in order to get any info. But...odds that she got captured is more than likely. I've known Rhode for years and I know how careless she can get," Nebraska said to the soldier.

"So...is Rhode her real name? Sounds like a tomboyish name for a woman," the soldier asked.

"What? No, her name isn't really Rhode. It's short for her code name, Rhode Island," Nebraska answered.

"So...what is her name?" The soldier asked, with Nebraska turning to look at him.

"I'm not telling you that"

"Why not?"

"Because she doesn't like me telling people her real name," Nebraska said.

"...Are you two a thing?" The Red asked.

"What? No! I...god man, what gave you that idea?" Nebraska said, sounding a bit uncomfortable.

"Well it's just that...you're really worried about her and...you know…"

"Alright, let's just drop this. So I'm just going to head over there and get her out, while we keep in touch via radio...uh...what's your name?" Nebraska asked the soldier.

"Name's George," George said to him.

"Okay George, you and the other Reds just stay here. I'll be back with her in a moment. And...if we're not here in about an hour, just...forget you ever saw us," Nebraska said before running towards Blue Base.

"He was nice," George said before walking back into his base.

* * *

 ***Blue Base***

Rhode was being watched by the CQB and E.V.A. soldiers, their weapons constantly being aimed at her.

"So...what do you look like under all that armor?" The CQB asked her.

Rhode looks at him, "Let me ask you something. Do you want to lose an arm?"

"...forget I asked"

"That's what I thought," Rhode Island said.

There was some gunfire outside, catching the attention of the two Blues, "Shit! Are we being attacked?!" The E.V.A. soldier shouted in alarm, "Stay here and watch her!"

The E.V.A. soldier ran out, with the CQB making the biggest mistake to take his eyes off of Rhode Island for a second since she managed to grab him and kneed his stomach, bringing him to his knees before delivering a hard punch to the head, knocking him out, "Shouldn't have done that"

Rhode looted a magnum and Battle Rifle off of him and carefully moves through the base, which was larger than she expected. But she just followed the gunfire and found three Blue soldiers shooting at someone...and that someone was Nebraska.

"Yeah! Get some!" A soldier wearing a Gungnir helmet said as he fired very accurately.

Rhode just shook her head and aimed her newly gained Battle Rifle and shot him in the head, following with shooting the two other Blues, "What the hell took you so long, Neb?"

"Hey, talking with Reds and getting some info on the A.I. Speaking of which, what have you found?" Nebraska asked her.

"Nothing. They knocked me out the second I got into their territory. And their commanding officer is a real bitch. At least her soldiers are a bunch of idiots," Rhode Island said to him.

"I wouldn't say that," Alexa said behind them, prompting them to turn around and see Alexa accompanied by eight other soldiers.

"Ah crap…" Rhode said before she and Nebraska took cover as the Blues opened fire.

"By the way, the Reds know nothing about an A.I." Nebraska said.

"Well apparently the Blues know something. They might be hiding it somewhere," Rhode Island said, returning fire and managing to kill one of the Blue soldiers before returning to cover.

"Well I doubt they're in a mood to tell us," Neb said.

"No shit, Sherlock!" Rhode Island shouted before throwing a grenade, which makes the Blues immediately take cover before she turned invisible and ran towards their end and grabs two of the soldiers and knocks their heads together harshly, knocking them out before using her magnum and rifle to take out two more, her cloak ending upon doing this before immediately getting shot in the shoulder.

"Rhode!" Nebraska shouted and ran over, using his AR to take down a soldier before switching to his DMR and shooting Alexa in the chest three times, not killing her but making her retreat to tend to her injuries, with the other Blues falling back.

"Son of a...bitch! Agh, this hurts!" Rhode Island shouted, putting a hand over her wound.

"Yeah...okay, just hang on," Nebraska placed a device on the ground before it opened up and released a green energy field that began healing Rhode.

"Thanks Neb. Hey, good thing you managed to get that healing unit to work without having to use an A.I." Rhode Island said to him, reloading her weapons, but still wincing a bit in pain.

"Yeah. But we still need to do the same thing for your cloak," Nebraska said, helping her up.

"Let's just go find this A.I." Rhode said before looking at a dead Blue soldier and takes his helmet before ripping something out, "Now let's see here…"

"You sure it's a good idea to go after it? They outnumber us ten to one," Nebraska said, expressing some worry.

"Yeah? Well, I just got schematics of the entire base. We can take the shortest route. Of course we can go by their armory and get some better weapons," Rhode Island said, tossing the machinery she got out the Blue soldier's helmet after transferring the files to both her and Nebraska.

"Okay then, but I'm taking point," Nebraska said, reloading his DMR.

"Gotcha," Rhod said and they went to the armory, not knowing that they were going to stir up a hornet's nest.

* * *

 ***Lower Part of Blue Base***

Alexa stumbled a bit into a room, where she went up to a terminal, "They're not getting this. Not at all"

"Ma'am, you need medical attention right now," one of the Blue soldiers with her said.

"I can worry about that later! We need to get this to you-know-who, and then we can get this all over with. No need to worry about a fake war, now do we? Right, Arkan?" Alexa said directly to the terminal and a small, cyan hologram popped up, the hologram looking like a male teenager with a hoodie and jeans.

"I guess you can say that, Commander. But your chances in succeeding in the exchange of me for your own personal freedom is slim to none at best," Arkan, an A.I., said to her.

"We'll see about that," Alexa said, transferring Arkan to a memory unit.

* * *

 **Krika: And that was the first chapter! And before you ask, no. Cali and Neb are not a couple. It's a sort of running gag for them, with people mistaking them as such. And what exactly does Alexa know about the mysterious A.I. Arkan? Stay tuned in Agent Tales! Reminder; This is an AU version of the RVB world.**


	2. Enter Arkan, the AI

**Krika: Hey guys! Welcome back to Agent Tales! This chapter will reveal more about the A.I. Arkan, and what the Blue Commander Alexa plans on doing with him. Furthermore, a flashback will be shown showing as to why Rhode Island and Nebraska are rogue agents. Enjoy! I do not own Halo or Red vs. Blue. Reminder: This story is to be considered an AU version of RVB.**

* * *

Agents Rhode Island and Nebraska were in the Blue armory and were getting some weapons. Rhode recovers the weapons the Blues took and loads fresh magazines into them. Nebraska got a rocket launcher of an older model, allowing it to lock on, and he also grabbed some grenades along with a sticky grenade launcher.

"Experimental tech, eh? Nice. This is going to be fun," Nebraska said, loading the launcher with a grenade.

"Okay, I'm ready. Now let's go find that A.I." Rhode Island said as they headed out.

They scanned the hallways, checking corners and occasionally their rears as they made their way through the base.

"Man. This reminds me of the Mother of Invention break-in," Rhode said, checking a corner.

"I thought we agreed to drop that subject since it happened. We barely got out of there alive and we're wanted by Project Freelancer and the UNSC," Nebraska said.

"Just reminiscing Neb...I just wish it ended differently…" Rhode Island said, sounding a bit sad.

"There was nothing we could do for Carolina or the others that were onboard," Nebraska said.

"Then why did we run? We could have stayed and saved Carolina!" Rhode said.

* * *

 ***Flashback***

"Uh...you want us to do what?" Rhode Island asked in confusion towards Tex and York via video call on the Mother of Invention.

"Sabotage the sensors so we can get onboard undetected," Tex said to her.

"And why do you think we'll go along with this?" Nebraska asked them.

"Because you two know something is wrong with Project Freelancer," Tex simply said.

"Well...that much is true. The Director does keep a lot of stuff from us, but you can't really expect the others aren't going to notice this. I mean, Carolina-" Rhode was about to continue until York cut her off.

"Don't worry about Carolina, okay? D, can you tell them how they can shut off the Mother of Invention's sensors?" York said, his A.I. appearing next to him.

"This is not a very logical plan, York," Delta said to him.

"No...but it will be fun," York responded.

"Blowing stuff up?" Nebraska asked, sounding a bit too...er, eager.

"Blowing stuff up Neb. Think you two can do it?" Tex asked the two again.

Rhode Island and Nebraska looked at each other before looking back at them, "You two owe us big time when this is over," Rhode said to them.

"Yeah, yeah. Give them the details, D," York said.

"You will first need to locate where the sensors are. Or at the very least access a console and disable them remotely. Once they are down, Agents York and Texas will infiltrate the Mother of Invention while you two take off by commandeering a Pelican," Delta explained to the two.

"Wait, take off? We're not fighting with you guys?" Nebraska asked.

"Do you really want to have to fight any of the other Agents, specifically ones who have more skill than you, and an overwhelming number of soldiers?" York asked.

"...fair point there, York," Rhode Island said.

"You'll need to steal a Pelican to get off, of course. Just...don't come back. Get as far away from there as possible," Tex said before the transmission was cut.

"Alright...let's get to work Rhode," Nebraska said as they began their mission.

* * *

 ***One Hour Later***

Rhode Island and Nebraska were running away from some soldiers, dodging gunfire along the way.

"You just HAD to punch that guy in the crotch, didn't you?!" Nebraska shouted at his partner.

"He kept staring at my ass since I was recruited! He deserved it!" Rhode shouted before she and Nebraska stopped suddenly when Maine walked out in front of them, "Oh no…"

"Maine...just let us go...we don't want to cause any further trouble," Nebraska said to him.

Sigma appears near Maine's head, "Should have expected this from you two. But...you don't have what we're looking for. Agent Maine, kill them"

Maine growled and aimed his Brute Shot and fired, the two dodging out the way and the soldiers behind them instead got blown to bits.

"What the hell?! Run!" Nebraska shouted, Rhode Island using her armor enhancement to turn invisible before delivering a kick that sent Maine, or rather the Meta, into a wall, stunning him for a bit, but long enough for her and Nebraska to escape.

"You can't run forever. This is only the beginning," Sigma said before disappearing and Maine walks off.

Rhode and Nebraska were still running until they came up to the hangar, "Son of a bitch! Now the A.I.s themselves are turning?! What the hell kind of fucked up organization is this that will allow rampant A.I.?!" California shouted, running into a Pelican and tossing the pilot out before starting up the engines.

"Let's just get going!" Nebraska said before artificial gravity was noticeably turned off, "Oh shit…"

"I'm blaming that on York!" Rhode Island said as Nebraska got on the plane and they quickly left the hangar, staying at a moderate distance, and were shocked when the Mother of Invention eventually crashed into the planet it was orbiting, "Oh god…"

"This is Nebraska to York and Tex. Do you two read me?" Nebraska said, having quickly gotten on comms to call their friends, but no response, "Hey! Come on, answer me!"

There was some static, but Tex's voice came through, "This is Tex! Look, the situation has gone from bad to fucked up! Get the hell out of here! And stay the hell away from Maine!"

"Yeah, he tried killing us earlier. It looked like Sigma was controlling him," Rhode Island said.

"Sigma? Dammit! I knew something was off about him! Just get as far away from Project Freelancer as you can, and hide. Maine just killed Carolina and took her two A.I." Tex said.

"Wait...Carolina is...no...no! Dammit, that can't be right!" Rhode shouted, in shock of what was just said.

"Just go! Don't worry about me and York. We'll find a way," Tex said as she cut out on the comms.

Rhode Island just walked into the back of the Pelican and punched something in anger, "DAMMIT!"

Nebraska got into the pilot seat and got the Pelican moving to a different location.

* * *

 ***Present***

"What's done is done, Rhode…look, we need to focus, or else both of us won't be able to avenge our friends," Nebraska said, checking a corner.

"Yeah. And how are we supposed to do that? Storm the nearest, heavily guarded Freelancer outpost? Or better yet, go after Maine? Who has apparently been hunting our friends for their equipment and A.I.! Face it Neb, if we stayed on the Mother of Invention, things might have ended differently! Carolina would still be alive!" Rhode shouted in defense.

"Shh!" Neb said and did a motion with his hand to listen and stay hidden before they heard footsteps.

"Still don't think this will work," a Blue said to Alexa.

"Trust me on this Conrad. We'll finally get a ride home when we turn in this A.I." Alexa said, carrying the containment unit Arkan was in.

"The A.I.," Rhode whispered, readying her rifle before Neb had her lower it.

"Don't go out shooting. You might end up damaging the memory unit the A.I. is in. Let's take this slow," Neb whispered to her.

"Yeah, but what makes you think that this guy won't just shoot us and kill us all?" The other Blue asked.

"I have snipers stationed on a cliff wall. If they try anything, they'll be dead before it happens," Alexa said.

Rhode Island and Nebraska stealthily followed them, making sure to keep out of sight before they made it outside of the base through the back entrance, three Sabre-class ships decloaking and the pilots came out, adorned in pitch black armor with black visors.

"Do you have the A.I.?" One of the pilots asked.

Alexa held up the containment device, "Right here. Ran into some trouble with some Reds, but got him out safely"

"Good," the second pilot held up a chip, "This has a bit of sensitive material that the UNSC doesn't want getting out. You can use this to bribe them to get you out of here"

"Blackmail, huh? Okay, we'll make the exchange now," Alexa said, walking forward along with the pilot with the ship.

Rhode Island cloaked herself and ran out, the footsteps alerting the soldiers, but it was too late as Rhode blasted the two escort Blues with her BR and shot Alexa in the back, making the Blue commander drop the containment device before she quickly whipped out her Sniper Rifle and shot the two snipers that were stationed, "Neb!"

Neb leaped out of cover and fired a rocket at one of the Sabres, blowing it up and killing one of the three pilots before he got out his magnum and shot another one dead.

"What the hell?! You're Project Freelancer!" The third pilot said in shock, bringing out his DMR and was going to shoot but Rhode Island cloaked again and the pilot aimed at Nebraska, but his neck got snapped by Rhode Island, who decloaked and picked up the device.

"D...dammit...you bitch…" Alexa said in pain.

"Think of it as payback for punching and shooting me," Rhode said before taking out her magnum and shoot her in the head.

"So...what now?" Nebraska asked.

"We get back to our hideout and decide who gets the A.I." Rhode Island said to him.

"Well, what about the info that pilot has?" Nebraska asked.

Rhode picked it up and made some copies of the files, "Copied the files. Let's see what it's about. But what are we going to do with this?"

Nebraska thought for a moment before he got an idea, "I can think of something"

* * *

 ***Red Base***

"This...this can seriously get us home?" George asked, holding the chip.

"Yeah. You guys are just being used as guinea pigs for Project Freelancer, so there's really no need for you to stay here. Especially since all the Blues are dead," Rhode Island explained.

"Thanks! We'll make it up to you when we can!" George said, his men agreeing with him.

"We'll remember that offer. Now come on Neb, let's get going," Rhode said to her partner before they both left.

* * *

 ***Hideout***

Nebraska and Rhode were looking at the containment device, just staring at it...not knowing what the hell to do with it. Also the two were out of their armor, Rhode wearing a white tank-top and blue shorts with Neb wearing a green shirt and black jeans

"So...how do we transfer an A.I. to ourselves?" Rhode asked.

"You seriously forgot about that? It's basic stuff they taught us in training. If an Agent were to die and they had an A.I. in their possession, a fellow Agent is to recover or destroy any equipment the KIA agent has. Besides, our armor has slots for A.I., so we should be good," Nebraska said, powering up a machine and plugging the containment device into it, transferring Arkan to the computer and the A.I. appeared as a hologram, though about 8 inches tall.

"Great. Now I gotta deal with new owners. Hey, can you just up and delete me? That'd be great so I don't have to deal with anymore human idiocy," Arkan said to the agents.

"Well aren't you a ray of sunshine?" Rhode bluntly said.

"Hey, I had to deal with that blue bitch for two days. I have every right to be a smartass towards you humans," Arkan said, crossing his arms.

"Well...you don't need to worry about that woman anymore. I'm Ex-Project Freelancer Agent Nebraska, this is my partner Rhode Island, who's also an Ex-Agent," Nebraska introduced himself.

"Project Freelancer? A secretive organization if I'm correct. But your mistake for keeping in close proximity to me. I'm known to tap into files, no matter how secure. That's what those guys in black were after," Arkan explained.

Rhode Island smiled a bit, "Well, then we'll get along great"

"Doubtful," Arkan said bluntly.

"Well, think you can decipher the files in this chip then?" Nebraska asked.

"And why should I? I'm not helping you," Arkan said.

"So you're saying you CAN'T get the files?" Rhode taunted the A.I.

Arkan gave her an annoyed look, "Oh, so you think I'm just a dishwasher grade A.I. now, huh?! Fine! Plug that chip in and let me have a look!"

Rhode did a fist bump at convincing the moody Artificial intelligence, while Nebraska plugged the chip in and Arkan disappeared for a moment before reappearing again, "So what'd you find?" Neb asked.

Arkan snapped his fingers and a holographic screen came up, showing the Freelancer insignia, "Some secret info about you Freelancers. It's not much though, but it's very sensitive material"

Rhode got a serious look on her face, "Show us"

Arkan went through the files, "So far a few of the agents are confirmed KIA, while some are labeled as MIA. Of course a third labeling was created, showing rogue agents. You both are on the list. Agent Texas, New York, and Maine have been labeled as rogue as well. Though Maine has always been listed as a kill on sight target"

"Why?" Nebraska asked.

"He's hunting other Freelancers and stealing their equipment. But his main targets are those with A.I. Fragments," Arkan said.

"Carolina had two A.I., Eta and Iota I think," Rhode pointed out.

"Well, she is listed as KIA, and the A.I. are listed as missing, so you're right about that. But here's something interesting. Info about the Alpha," Arkan said.

"The Alpha? The fragments were obsessed with that when we were still in Project Freelancer," Nebraska said.

"Well, it seems that this file in particular is VERY sensitive. Only the director and counselor had access to this. But somehow those M.I.B. got ahold of this," Arkan said.

"Ooh...show us," Rhode said, interested in this.

"Not much info about it to be honest. But the last known location of the Alpha is said to be in a box canyon called Blood Gulch," Arkan said.

"Blood Gulch? I think some sim troopers are set up there. We should go check it out and see what we can find," Rhode Island suggested.

"Well, then I guess I'll be coming with you two then. You're irritating, but this info about your previous affiliation is rather interesting. So while I'm with you, don't fuck up and have me get stolen," Arkan said to the two.

Rhode rolled her eyes and transferred Arkan to a chip, "So which of us will have him implanted?"

"I think you should have the honors. It could help you with recon missions and your cloak will last longer," Nebraska said.

Rhode smiled a bit, "Thanks Neb," she grabs her helmet and plugs the chip in, Arkan appearing as a hologram with his arms crossed, "So, you ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be. Let's get this party started," Arkan said, smirking a little.

* * *

 **Krika: And that's it. It'll be some time before Neb and Rhode meet up with the main RVB crew, but don't worry, they'll eventually get to that point. So stay tuned for Agent Tales! Also a side note: this is to be considered an AU of RVB. Reminder: This is still an AU world of RVB.**


	3. From Hiding, to Finding

**Krika: Hey guys! Welcome back to Agent Tales! I hope you enjoy this chapter, and leave a review on your thoughts about it. But for now, sit back and relax. I do not own Red vs. Blue or Halo. Reminder: This is still to be considered an AU version of RVB.**

* * *

Nebraska and Rhode were currently in Blood Gulch, but they were just standing in front of Blue Base as one of Sister's parties was going on. The two Ex-Freelancers staring at it with disbelief.

"I don't...what is…" Nebraska stuttered, trying to find the words that fit what he's seeing.

Arkan appeared, looking rather confused himself, "A militarized base...being used for PARTIES? What the hell is with these guys?"

Rhode sighed and banged on the door, being greeted by Sister, "Hey, who's in charge of the base here?"

"Oh heeeey! You here for the party?" Sister asked, obviously drunk.

"Um...no. Me and my partner here are looking for-" Rhode tried to speak, but was cut off.

"Great! Come on in!" Sister shouted, grabbing her arm and bringing her inside.

Neb was just fucking BEFUDDLED of what just happened, "I...guess we follow them?"

"Might as well. I can't stay all that long from Rhode Island's range, so we got not choice. I'll try to see if there's a computer or anything in the base. Try and get some info," Arkan said, disappearing and Neb walking inside, and seeing the commotion. Many partygoers having the time of their life.

Neb uses his radio, but had to raise his voice over all the noise, "Hey Rhode! Where are ya?!"

"Trying to get this chick here to tell us where her Blue friends are, but she's so drunk I don't think she's even registering of what I'm say-HEY! I will rip your fucking arm off if you do that again!" Rhode shouted towards a partygoer.

"Well this is literally our only lead! So we got no choice but to wait this out!" Neb shouted.

"I'm not going to be responsible for what happens if you get into a fight, Rhode," Arkan said to Rhode Island.

"Can't you just hack into their computers or something? Watch_Dogs that shit?" Rhode asked her A.I. companion.

"Yeah, that's the thing, they got NOTHING on here. It's all been deleted and filled with emails that are just invites for parties and raves," Arkan said, looking through the database.

"Oh you gotta be fucking kidding me...fine! We'll stay until everyone's left and the one in charge is sober and can think straight," Rhode said.

* * *

 ***The Next Morning…***

Rhode and Neb woke up, having fell asleep while they stayed at the base so they can get some information out of Sister about the whereabouts of the Blues. But of course what they didn't expect was to hear an all too familiar voice coming from outside.

"Hello? Hello! Anybody here?" The voice said.

"Hey...that sounds like…" Neb started, but Rhode put her hand on his mouth and motioned him to keep quiet.

"We can't let the UNSC know where we are," Rhode said in a whisper.

"Right...I still can't believe Wash is still working with them though…" Neb whispered.

"Hey! A-hole! What's with all the noise?! People are trying to sleep here!" Sister yelled at the Freelancer before going to talk to him. **(You guys know what happens at this point, so I'll skip the whole conversation between them)**

After listening to the conversation between Sister and Washington, the yellow armored soldier walked back into the base.

"So...who was that?" Rhode asked.

"Oh just some stupid cop. By the way, who are you guys? I think I remember you at last night's party, but it's a little hazy," Sister asked.

"Oh, right. I'm Rhode Island and this is Nebraska," Rhode said, introducing themselves.

"Hey, are you friends with that cop and Tex? You're named after states and everything," Sister asked again.

"Wait, Tex? You knew Tex?" Nebraska asked, surprised to hear that Tex was still alive.

"Hell yeah I do! She was a badass! Though she kinda...blew up I think? I don't know, it was a few months ago," Sister told them.

"Blew up? What are you…? Hey, where are you going?" Rhode tried to ask, but Sister started to leave.

"To try and get that cop out of here! I don't need the police coming around here!" Sister said before heading out to Red Base, where Washington was.

"O...Kay...this might be harder than we thought…" Nebraska said.

"It is taking EVERY bit of will I have to not strangle her…" Rhode said in frustration.

Arkan appeared and crossed his arms, "But she knew one of your friends...she might be able to give us a lead to where we need to search first"

"Maybe...we can check with the Reds here. They've been here for as long as the Blues, so maybe they know something," Neb pointed out.

"Wasn't that Washington guy heading there? Maybe we should stay here so you two don't get caught," Arkan suggested.

"Good point. Wouldn't be a good idea to just go in and expose ourselves…" Rhode admitted, sighing a bit.

"Hey! I found some sim trooper issued armor!" Neb called out.

"That so?" Rhode asked, going to see what he was talking about, but stares blankly, "Um...I don't know...it doesn't look like it would work with my figure..."

"That's what you're worried about?! We could use this to help mask ourselves. Don't want anyone knowing who we are, right?" Neb said/berated towards Rhode.

Rhode groaned in defeat, "Fiiiine! Not gonna like it though!"

The pair changed into the new armor, which of course were conveniently colored the same exact way as their Freelancer issued armor. Rhode Island had a Recon helmet with Hayabusa shoulders and a CQB chest piece. Nebraska had a MK V helmet with Rogue shoulders and EVA chest piece. And after Sister came back and they asked her about the location of her friends were...but with no success. Instead they headed to Red base, getting stopped by the cardboard cutouts that Sarge made until some buckshot shot at their feet, making them raise their guns.

"The hell!" Rhode shouted in annoyance.

Sarge was standing atop the base, his shotgun raised at them, "Haha! Got two dirty blues trying to sneak in, eh?"

Neb lowered his weapon, "I take it you're the one in charge here?"

"I'll be the one asking the questions, Blue!" Sarge shouted, still aiming his shotgun at them threateningly.

"We're not actually Blues. I assume a guy came around here asking for the Blues who were stationed here once?" Rhode asked.

"Oh. So you're from command too, huh?" Sarge said calmly, lowering his weapon.

"Yeah. So...have any idea where they went?" Neb asked.

"I gave the location of Caboose to your friend. But I wasn't able to get the location of their leader, Church or whatever. I could give you the transfer orders for the third Blue that was shipped out," Sarge offered.

"We'll take it. It's better than nothing I suppose," Rhode admitted.

"Alright then," Sarge said before heading into the base, "Lopez! Got the location of that third Blue?"

"Si, sargento," A robotic voice speaking in Spanish said to Sarge.

"Do they...have a soldier robot or something?" Rhode asked Neb and Arkan in confusion.

"I thought simulation troopers weren't even issued those kinds of things. But these Blood Gulch guys are one of the first few dozen batches, so I guess it makes sense for them to get stuff like that," Arkan said.

Sarge and Lopez came out, "Okay, Lopez here will transfer the files to you. But I do need to tell you that he may have translated them into Spanish"

"Don't worry about that. I took high school Spanish for two years straight," Rhode said.

"De veras? Asi que usted puede entender lo que estoy diciendo?" Lopez asked in Spanish.

"Er...I did say I did it for two years straight...but I didn't say I really focused on it. I guess you're saying that you're glad that...the war you're fighting is almost over?" Rhode admitted and said in confusion.

Lopez sighed and transferred the files to the two rogue agents before walking back into the base, saying something along the lines of 'Why doesn't anyone learn Spanish in this canyon' in Spanish.

"Okay. We'll take our leave. It was a...pleasure to meet you," Neb said to Sarge before he and Rhode left Blood Gulch.

* * *

 ***Hideout***

Rhode uploaded the files to their computer and plugged Arkan in, who began to translate the information from Spanish to English before he appeared.

"Okay. Got it. Private First Class, Lavernius Tucker. Stationed in Blood Gulch for about two years or so, and obtained an alien artifact. Some sort of sword that only works for him. He...somehow gave birth to an alien son named Junior and soon became an ambassador between humans and aliens. He's currently stationed at a dig site. The dig team he's working with is a collaboration between humans and aliens and he's acting as a go-between for them. I can't get any info for what they're digging for though," Arkan explained.

"And where is this dig site located?" Nebraska asked.

"In the middle of a desert. Surrounded by a minefield to keep any unwanted personnel out," Arkan said.

"Then let's get going. But we don't know how long we'll be gone for, so we'll destroy this place. Don't want anyone to track us," Rhode said.

"Okay. Let's grab what we can and get going," Nebraska said.

Rhode grabbed a Battle Rifle and a standard issued magnum, making sure to grab a couple frag grenades. Nebraska grabbed an assault rifle and SMG, making sure to grab some grenades himself before they set charges around their base, made sure to get to a safe distance before detonating them, destroying their hideout.

"Gonna miss that place..." Rhode admitted.

"It's a sacrifice worth doing. Anyway, let's get going," Arkan said before they headed to the desert dig site.

* * *

 ***Uncountable Time Later...***

Neb and Rhode managed to get their hands on a Warthog, with Rhode riding in the passenger seat and using a tablet to help guide them through the minefield before they got into the main dig site area and got out of the vehicle.

"Finally arrived," Nebraska said.

A UNSC soldier in beige and white colored armor wearing an ODST helmet walked up, "Hey! Who the hell are you guys?! This is a restricted area!"

"We were sent by Command to help with security. Just as a precaution," Nebraska told him obviously lying.

"We didn't receive any orders," the soldier told them.

"Must've gotten mixed up then. They're very busy with other things after all," Rhode said.

The soldier stared at them...before switching to a very friendly mood, "Oh, okay! That's pretty understandable actually. Happened loads of times before anyway"

"We were also told to meet up with a man named Lavernius Tucker. Know where he is?" Nebraska asked.

"Sure. He's over this way," The soldier led them to Tucker, who was busy doing some...well, nothing actually. Just standing around and talking with some of the aliens and other humans.

"So then I said 'Hey baby, how about we go around for some fun?'," Tucker said to them.

"And then what happened?" one of the humans asked.

"Well...her boyfriend came around and kicked my ass," Tucker said.

"Hey Tucker! We got a couple new guys!" The soldier leading Rhode and Neb to Tucker called out.

"Huh? Oh hey!" Tucker walked over, "So who are you two?"

"You can call me Rhode. This is my friend, Neb," Rhode introduced herself and Nebraska.

"Weird names. But I've heard weirder. Like a guy I knew back in the canyon I was stationed in who was called Donut," Tucker said.

Rhode snickered, "D...Donut? Wow. That IS pretty weird"

"So what are you guys here for anyway?" Tucker asked.

"Security enforcement. Command sent us as a sort of precaution," Neb answered.

Tucker looked at Rhode, "Kind of surprised to see a hottie like you working as security. But of course there are some things that can be secured and 'protected'. Bow-chicka-bow-wow"

Rhode just stared at him, "Make another comment like that and I'm ripping your arms off and use them as clubs to beat you dead, got that?"

Tucker just took a couple steps back, "Woah! Okay! Wow, you remind of another chick that used to hang around with me and my...associates? They weren't really the kind of people you could call friends right away"

"That so? Well, I assure you that I have one mean temper. So don't try me," Rhode said.

"Blargh?" one of the aliens said as if asking a question.

Tucker looked at him, "Nah, I don't think she's into aliens"

"You can understand what he's saying?" Neb asked.

"Dude, totally! Wouldn't be a good ambassador if I couldn't understand a single thing these guys are saying...most of the time. I'm still kinda new to all this, so I sometimes mistranslate what the aliens are saying," Tucker admitted.

Rhode looked at the alien that asked the question, "Yeah, I actually did used to date an alien, but it didn't work out so well. Something about 'shaming his family' or something. I dunno"

"Oh! So I guess you got freaky with him or something?" Tucker asked.

"What? No. In fact I punched him every time he tried making a pass on me," Rhode said to him.

"And she can hit HARD. You would swear her fists are made of lead or something," Neb informed them.

"And THAT'S the kind of comment I can feel proud at," Rhode admitted proudly.

"Okay! No pissing you off then!" One of the soldiers commented.

"Damn right!" Rhode said.

"Well, we should probably start getting to work. What do you need us to do?" Neb asked.

The commander, wearing black with a beige trim, walked up, "Well, nothing much besides taking shifts on patrols. We need to make sure no one tries to sneak in"

"You got it. Arkan?" Rhode asked, Arkan appearing besides her, surprising the dig team.

"I'll make sure to help with any scans," Arkan said, crossing his arms.

"Woah! You have an A.I., huh?" A soldier asked.

"Yep. This is Arkan. He's a pretty smart A.I." Rhode answered.

"Oh man. I really hope this doesn't backfire or anything. I kinda had some bad experiences with some A.I. before," Tucker said.

 _He must've had some experiences with some A.I. fragments...possibly Omega if he knows Tex..._ Nebraska thought to himself.

"Ah, don't worry. Arkan is a good guy...well, sort of. He's like a moody teenager," Rhode said.

Arkan looks at her irritated, "I am NOT a moody teenager! It's just...part of my programming!"

"Riiight...keep telling yourself that," Rhode said tauntingly.

Arkan huffed and sat down in mid-air, crossing his arms, "Whatever..."

"Well...we'll just get to work on those patrols. We'll make sure to report in immediately if anything seems odd," Rhode said to the commander.

"Okay. But practice caution..."

Far away, the Insurrection Leader was watching and listening with a sniper rifle.

"We don't know what might happen. Many people are really greedy about alien tech"

The fake C.T. lowered the rifle and glanced at Smith, "Get ready. We're going to attack soon"

Smith nodded in agreement.

* * *

 **Krika: And that's the third chapter! The fourth chapter will involve Fake C.T. attacking the dig site and taking over. And then the fifth chapter will skip to when Recreation is going on. So Nebraska, Rhode Island, and Arkan will be meeting Sarge, Caboose and Grif, and soon have an unpleasant reunion with Washington and Maine during Revelations. But until then, stay tuned!**


	4. Familiar Faces and New Faces

**Krika: Hey guys! Welcome back to Agent Tales! My RvB AU story! This will continue where we left off with the two rogue Freelancers as they met one of the Reds and Blues, Tucker. Now let's get on with the story.**

* * *

"Hey! Where do you want me to put this?" Rhode asked a soldier, carrying a box filled with equipment. The ex-Freelancers and their A.I. have been here for quite some time, and they've been helping out the dig site crew in the meantime.

"Just put it in the large vehicle that acts as our base of operations," the soldier said, before looking at her in confusion, "Though...do you really got that okay? That's filled with really heavy stuff"

"Nah, I got it. I lifted stuff heavier than this," Rhode said, going to put the equipment into the base, Arkan helping out the dig site leader.

"I've never seen things like this before. Though really in terms of A.I. age I'm only a week old at most," Arkan said, swiping his hands across miniature holographic screens in front of him.

"Well, we're at least lucky you came along with Rhode. We needed a good A.I. to help us out. And I've never seen an A.I. as smart as you before, Arkan. You're pretty impressive," the commander said.

"Thanks, sir. Hmm...well, this will still take time, but unfortunately Sanghelli doesn't match at all to this text. So language samples from the aliens don't help much. No offense," Arkan said, glancing at the aliens present.

Rhode walked up, "What's up?"

"Nothing much. Thanks for helping out Rhode. You, Arkan, and Neb," Commander said.

"No problem. Anyway, Neb and those two soldiers he's with should be back from patrol and I'll take on next," Rhode said, and they heard an engine, "And speak of the devil, they're back"

They ducked when they heard gunfire and Neb rushed in, "We're being attacked! They came out of nowhere!"

"Where are the guys that were with you?!" Rhode asked, pulling Arkan from the console and plugging him into her helmet.

"Dead! They got picked off by a sniper!"

"Dammit! All units! Battle stations!" The commander shouted, Rhode grabbing a sniper rifle and Neb grabbing a Battle Rifle before they headed out, multiple enemy soldiers coming in with vehicles and armed to the teeth.

"Neb! Pick off the foot soldiers! I got the guys on the Mongooses!" Rhode shouted, taking cover behind some stone and aiming her rifle and started firing off shots. But it was at a moment that she aimed at the leader, she hesitated, "CT...?" and then she received a sniper round into her right shoulder, making her drop her rifle and shout in pain and gripping the wound, taking complete cover and breathing heavily.

"You took a serious shot. You need Neb's healing unit right away or you're going to lose a lot of blood," Arkan said.

"Ya...think? Gah..." Rhode said before hearing multiple people start dropping like flies and saw the dig crew start getting killed left and right before she got grabbed and saw that Tucker was helping her out.

"Come on! Let's get going!" Tucker shouted, helping her run to the main temple, where Neb was waiting and they got inside and closed the door.

"Kill them all! We don't need anyone interfering in our search for the weapon!" The fake C.T. shouted at his men.

 _Wait...that's not her!_ Rhode thought in shock.

"Well that went to hell real fast! Who the hell were those guys?!" Neb shouted, quickly setting up his healing unit to patch up any wounds they had.

"You expect me to know?! I got transferred here just to help dig in the sand!" Tucker shouted.

"Shut IT! We can't just sit here and argue! We gotta figure out how to get out of this mess!" Rhode shouted, and Arkan appeared.

"You two are ex-Freelancer agents, you seriously need a guy like this to help you out?" Arkan said.

"Wait...what?! Freelancer Agents?!" Tucker shouted in shock.

"Er...ex-agents to be exact. We're kinda on their 'to-shit-on' list right now," Neb said.

"I'm Rhode Island, and he's Nebraska," Rhode said.

"So, wait, you guys knew Tex and Wyoming?" Tucker asked.

"Well yeah! We did pretty much train with them in the past," Nebraska said.

"Oh cool, so this explains it. Every time a Freelancer is involved, crazy shit happens!" Tucker said.

"Hey those guys aren't with us! One of them fucking SHOT me for Christ's sake!" Rhode shouted.

"HEY!" Arkan shouted, getting their attention, "While you idiots were chatting, I fixed up a radio to send a distress signal. Tucker, I'll let you relay the message. But make it brief, the device won't send the message very far and the signal is crap"

"Alright. Neb, watch the door while I get to it," Tucker said.

"You got it," Neb said, aiming his rifle at the door.

"Well...we got plenty of food to last quite a while between the three of us," Rhode said, checking ammo in a pistol and grabs an extra one.

"Hopefully help arrives soon..." Neb said as the enemy soldiers began trying to break into the temple.

* * *

 ***Some Time Later...***

The four hear some noise outside.

"Looks like some new guys came in. Great," Rhode said.

"Wait a minute...I know those voices! They're some of the guys I was stuck with in the canyon!" Tucker said before turning to the others, "Okay, you guys stay here while I head out and raise some hell and get them in here. Hopefully they brought some backup"

"You got it," Neb said.

 **(Those of you who watch RvB from the beginning to current episode, you know how this part goes)**

While Sarge, Grif and Caboose were busy, Rhode and Neb came and started helping out, Rhode getting some payback on the sniper that shot her back when the dig site was raided)

"Guys, hold them off! I'll get the door!" Tucker ran back in, with the others retreating back into the temple before Tucker closed the door again, "There!"

"Tucker! And...some other guys!" Caboose said.

"Hey Caboose," Tucker said.

"Sup?" Rhode casually said.

"Oh hey, look, it's that guy," Grif said flatly.

"Hey! I know you two! You were in the canyon a few months back!" Sarge said.

"Oh yeah! You're the guy that nearly blew our heads off with that shotgun of yours!" Rhode said, a tinge of annoyance in her tone.

"You brought THESE guys? Are we killing each other today? Or pretending to work together?" Tucker asked Caboose.

"Uh, the pretending version," Caboose said.

"Oh, okay, cool," Tucker said, putting away his sword, "Hey, dudes, what's up? How'd you all find me?"

"We got that radio call you sent," Sarge said.

"The distress signal? And they sent you assholes? That was to help us! We wanted less distress, not more distress!" Tucker complained.

"We were hoping for some guys who were more...professional," Rhode said.

"Uh, actually, we kind of ignored that call at first," Grif pointed out.

"That makes sense," Tucker rebutted.

"And then Donut showed up and told us you're in trouble," Grif pointed out again.

Tucker chuckles a bit as he spoke, "I get it. So me making an emergency radio call, not a big deal. Donut telling you some dumb homo story, red alert!"

"Pretty much," Sarge said.

"So where is everyone else?" Tucker asked.

"What do you mean?" Caboose asked, actually confused...though he's ALWAYS confused.

"The rest of the people who are going to help us fight these fuckers off," Tucker said.

"Yeah, we REALLY need the help. As much as we can get," Rhode pointed out, but the three were silent for a bit.

"You didn't bring any other soldiers, did you?" Tucker asked, sounding a bit irritated.

"Oh, uh, that depends. Um, by "other soldiers," do you mean, people other than us?" Caboose asked.

"Yes, we do," Tucker bluntly said.

"Kinda the point of why we sent a distress call," Nebraska pointed out.

"Then, no," Caboose said.

"What's going on here?" Sarge asked.

"Uh, it's kind of hard to explain," Tucker said.

"When those guys first attacked, their leader said something about an artifact here," Rhode added.

"And is some kind of weapon built long ago," Neb added onto the conversation.

"An old weapon...like a spear?" Caboose asked.

"No, not a spear. Like some kind of super energy electric thing," Tucker said.

"An electric spear," Caboose added, Neb and Rhode seeing how idiotic the Blue was just by having this conversation.

"It's not a spear, dumbass! How do you put up with this guy?" Rhode shouted, whispering the last sentence to Tucker.

"It's pretty hard..." Tucker said.

"Hm, I think I've read about these. They found some back during the war," Sarge added.

"Yeah, well, all the aliens are into them, and so are all the humans now," Tucker said.

"And the aliens are really religious about these artifacts," Arkan said.

"So me and Junior have to go around sometimes and help...negotiate stuff. You know, smooth talk," Tucker added.

"Why you?" Grif asked, a bit skeptical.

"We're like ambassadors here or something. Humans and aliens seem more comfortable with us since we're kind of, you know, in between," Tucker answered.

"My mind is forever scarred of what Tucker told us..." Rhode added.

"In between aliens and humans, huh? You mean in between two alien and human...ladies?" Caboose asked, waiting for a reaction from Tucker, and even the ex-Freelancers and Arkan looked at him.

"Come on, dude, seriously? You're not going to get me to say it with that lame-ass joke. I'm not that easy," Tucker said, but kind gave in after the looks he was getting, "Okay, well, maybe I am that easy. Bow-chicka-bow-wow. See? Now that's a set up"

 _I can't believe they're ALL like this..._ Neb thought with a hint of irritation and amusement.

Caboose laughed a little, "Yeah, I hope one day you would tell me what you're going to between the two ladies" **(Red vs. Blue. Full of classic humor that can sometimes be questionable)**

"So are you part of the group that C.T. told us about?" Sarge asked.

"That asshole? He's a fucking liar," Tucker outright said.

"He's a shoot first ask questions later kind of guy," Rhode added.

"He and his team killed the guys originally sent to dig this thing up. Then they tried to kill us," Tucker finished.

"Oh, no. Well, I hope you stopped them," Caboose said.

"We locked ourselves in this temple. Figured it'd keep us safe and keep those asshats away from whatever weapon is buried here," Nebraska said.

"Which of course has been rough since these three had to ration food and water while we were waiting for a rescue party to be sent," Arkan added.

"So who are they?" Grif asked.

"If we knew that, we wouldn't be standing here asking that question time and time again," Rhode answered.

"If anything they're a bunch of extreme treasure hunters that came to steal the weapon and sell it on the black market," Nebraska added on.

"Oh, they're like evil eBay," Caboose said.

"You're an idiot. Look guys, thanks for the fucked up rescue mission and all that, but where's Church?" Tucker asked.

"Oh, uh, he's dead," Caboose answered, a bit casually which kinda unsettled Rhode, Neb and Arkan.

"Yeah, I know that. Church has been dead for years. It never stopped him before," Tucker said back to his teammate.

"Wait, what?" Rhode said in total confusion.

"Oh, yeah, we also found out that he's not a ghost and that he's an A.I. computer program, like Sheila," Caboose explained.

"The fuck...?" Neb said at a loss for words.

"Yeah, I knew that," Tucker said casually.

"You did?" Grif asked in confusion.

"Yeah, you guys didn't? Fuck, pay the fuck attention. What the fuck are you guys paying attention to?" Tucker asked incredulously.

"Uh, I had my suspicions," Grif said.

"Of course, I just didn't want to tell anybody," Sarge added.

"I still want to know what Tucker is going to do between the two ladies," Caboose said, back on the topic of the comment from earlier that was obviously sexual.

"Look, guys, we need your help. We either need to chase these guys off, or destroy this facility," Tucker said.

"And we have kinda been debating on which of those two options we really want to do the most," Rhode said.

"Or pick up some chicks. Old habits die hard," Tucker added.

"Why destroy it?" Sarge asked.

"Orders. We can't let it fall into anyone else's hands," Tucker answered.

"But we have no idea what the weapon looks like, or if we're in the right area of the ruins," Rhode said.

"Plus breaking stuff is fucking awesome," Tucker added.

"And I agree. Me and Rhode have done plenty of demolition missions in the past when we were with Project Freelancer," Neb said, getting some looks from Caboose, Grif and Sarge, "And...we'll explain about that some other time"

"So...this thing is that powerful?" Grif asked, looking at Tucker.

"Hell, yeah. First they built these rings that were a huge weapon. Then we found this super-powerful cube-shaped weapon. And I guess this is the pyramid version," Tucker explained.

"That ancient race sure built a lot of weapons," Grif said.

"Oh yeah," Neb said.

"I mean, do they really need to spend all their time building stuff to destroy the universe? Like, how about the galaxy's biggest movie theater or like some kind of super-advanced water park? All work and no play guys, seriously," Grif said, listing some things off.

"Please don't talk about water...it makes us thirstier...aside from some people," Rhode said, looking at Arkan.

"Hey, not my problem an artificial body rocks," Arkan said smugly.

"No play. Tell me about it," Tucker said.

And at that moment, they felt a rumbling, making them look towards the entrance.

"Oh god dammit..." Neb said in annoyance.

"What the hell are they doing out there?" Grif asked.

"The hell do you think?" Rhode said.

"They've been trying to blast their way in here ever since we locked it down," Tucker.

"But not so much luck there, right you asshats?!" Rhode shouted, taunting the enemy soldiers.

"Nice," Tucker said.

"Thanks. I've been having a bit of pent up aggression ever since we got stuck in here," Rhode said.

"Well I can help you relieve some of that aggression, bow-chicka-bow-wow," Tucker said.

"Say that one more time and I'm putting my boot up your ass," Rhode said in irritation.

"Aaanyway...the temple LOOKS like it's made of rock, but it's harder than it looks," Arkan said.

"What's tougher than rock anyway?" Grif asked.

"Paper," Caboose said.

"How the fuck should we know?" Rhode said.

"Super rock? What are we, some kind of geographists?" Tucker said.

"The term you mean is geologist," Arkan said, crossing his arms.

"They have some kind of big machine out there!" Sarge pointed out.

"Yeah they just got it after overriding the controls. They believe they can use it to yank the door off or something," Nebraska added.

"Not fucking happening," Tucker said.

"They want to get their hands on that weapon?" Sarge asked.

"Yeah, and we can't let them turn it on, no matter what happens," Tucker said.

"Well, why don't we just turn it on and use it against them?" Sarge asked.

"This is ancient alien tech, who knows what might happen? We might become sterile, or our brains might get literally fried, or hell our genders would be swapped!" Rhode said, pointing out some possibilities.

"Would it do that?" Grif asked, sounding interested.

"Well, the ring weapons were designed to wipe out all organic life in a very huge radius, so yeah it's a possibility," Nebraska answered.

"Or the weapon here in this temple can destroy entire planets," Arkan said, looking to the side, "Anyway, where's the dumb guy?"

"What? Where the fuck did he go?!" Tucker said, sounding pretty worried.

"He just wandered off," Grif said.

"AFTER we told you guys not to use an ancient weapon that can very well kill us?!" Rhode shouted in distress.

"What do we look like, his nannies?" Grif said.

"God dammit...well we better go find him before he finds the weapon and turns it on," Tucker said, leaving to go find Caboose.

"So...you two are Freelancers, huh?" Grif asked the two.

"Ex-Freelancers. We went rogue a few years back, been doing all kinds of odd jobs for some undesirables to keep us going. As long as it meant screwing over them, we were good. But now that we heard that everyone's been arrested, or is missing, it's like...we don't even know what to do anymore. And Tucker has been telling us the crazy stuff you guys get into. Must be awesome, one wacky adventure after another," Rhode said.

"I wouldn't say wacky, more like completely insane," Grif said.

"We nearly died quite a few times!" Sarge pointed out.

"No surprise there. I mean, you guys did associate yourselves with Tex after all. Another agent who went rogue just like us," Nebraska said.

"Speaking of, I'm Rhode Island, and this is Nebraska. But you can call us Rhode and Neb for short," Rhode said.

"Never heard much of you guys from Tex," Grif said.

"Not surprised. She distanced herself from us so she probably didn't want to bring us up," Rhode said.

"Anyway, let's go help out Tucker. He told us quite a bit of Caboose's screw ups," Neb suggested, going to look for the dimwitted Blue.

* * *

 **Krika: And that's it for this chapter! More to come later, and soon the reuniting of Rhode and Neb with Washington and the Meta, and eventually Epsilon Tex. Stay tuned!**


	5. More Questions than Answers

**Krika: Hey guys, and welcome back to Agent Tales. This chapter will officially finish the Recreation arc of RvB in the story and then next is the Revelation arc. And some of you may be thinking "What will you be doing for the Project Freelancer arc?" well I got that covered. Basically showing, what I think happened, in the Reds and Blues search for Epsilon Church and the days of when Nebraska and Rhode Island were still in Project Freelancer. Anyway, enough about that, enjoy the story! The Halo franchise belongs to 343 and Red vs Blue belongs to Rooster Teeth.**

* * *

"Anyway, what do you think that idiot is doing?" Arkan asked the Reds while they were searching for Caboose.

"Well, he has been trying to rig equipment to do something. But we don't know what," Sarge answered, making Neb and Rode look at each other.

"Well, whatever it is, we can't have him messing around with stuff around here," Rhode said.

"Hey Blue! Hope you're not dead! Now that there's two of you, we'll finally have a fair fight," Sarge said, trying to coax Caboose out.

"That more or less sounds like a threat..." Neb said bluntly.

"Come on out here so we can kill you," Sarge finished.

"Yep. Definite threat," Rhode said.

"Hey, guys, shut up. You hear that?" Tucker said, making everyone stop.

They all heard Caboose...and it sounded like he was talking to someone. "Would you be quiet? You're gonna get me in trouble"

"Trouble? Fuck that!" Another voice said in a bit of irritation.

"Who's he talking to?" Tucker said in confusion.

"How the hell should we know? He's YOUR friend," Rhode said to him.

"Oh crap, did somebody break into the temple?" Tucker then said, a bit worried now.

"Shut up," something breaks, "Okay, see you broke that. See that was your fault," Caboose said, obviously lying.

"That was already broken," The other voice said.

Tucker lit up his sword...and making stupid noises along with it, "Alright. Let's charge in there, and take these assholes out. On my mark," Sarge and Grif look at him, "That means when I say 'go'."

"That voice sounds familiar," Grif said.

"Yeah, I find that annoying and grating for some reason," Sarge said, actually agreeing with Grif on something.

"Okay, just stop moving around. Hold still," Caboose said, still holding his conversation with the mysterious figure.

"I am holding still! You're the one who's moving!"

"Yeah that sounds like..." Tucker started to say.

"Get your hands off me! Fucking douche!" The voice said in complete irritation.

"I'm sorry, Church!" Caboose said, shocking all but the ex-Freelancers.

"Church!?" They rushed out and saw Church...or rather the memory of him through the A.I. Epsilon...who was in a Monitor device.

"What the hell...?" Rhode said in surprise.

"I can explain," Caboose said.

"Who the fuck are these guys?" Church asked.

"Who the fuck are we? Who the fuck are you?" Neb said.

"Church? You're telling me that thing is Church?" Tucker asked incredulously.

"Well, not exactly. See, uh, technically, uh, this thing is, uh, just a memory of Church. Um, his name is Epsilon," Caboose explained.

"Epsiwhatsawhat?" Tucker said, totally confused.

"Me, dipshit!" Church shouted, obviously annoyed.

"...This is gonna be fun..." Rhode said sarcastically.

"Uh, yeah, see, he's a resident memory of the guy he's based on. So he's kind of, like, remembering himself. Eh, Simmons can explain, you know, much better than I can, probably," Caboose tried his best to explain...and actually did a good job at it.

"Remembering himself? Not so sure that will be good in the long run..." Neb said, remember how Wash went nuts the moment Epsilon was implanted into him.

"Well looks like I have another reason to be glad Simmons isn't here," Grif said.

"Wait, I thought he was Simmons," Church said, looking at Sarge.

"He's Sarge. S-a-rge," Caboose said to Church.

"I'm confused, not deaf, you idiot! Now who's the yellow one?" Church asked.

"I'm not yellow! I'm orange!" Grif said in annoyance.

"Yeah? Then how'd you know who I was talking about?" Church said rather smugly.

"How come he remembers us, but not who we are?" Tucker asked Caboose.

"Besides us. We're new to you guys," Rhode said.

"Why does everyone think I'm yellow?! Seriously! Didn't anybody have a box of crayons when they were a kid!?" Grif continued on, still pissed at being called yellow.

"Oh, it will come back to him. See, I've been telling him stories about all of us," Caboose explained and looked at Tucker, "Well...most of us"

"Is that what you've been trying to do all this time? Rebuild your buddy?" Sarge asked.

"Yes. No. Maybe...which would make you less mad?" Caboose asked back

"So the only stuff he knows about us is what you told him? That's scary on a lot of levels, dude," Tucker said.

"Especially after all that we heard from Tucker about you as well," Neb added in.

"Why?" Church asked.

"Oh, why? Okay, quick quiz, who am I?" Tucker asked, challenging Church in what validity Caboose's stories had.

"You're Captain Flowers, right? You're dead. I've been meaning to ask you about that part. Is he like a zombie?" Church asked Caboose lastly, though Rhode and Neb were rather confused. The fact is that they never knew Flowers' name was because Agent Florida, AKA Captain Flowers, WAS Agent Florida and never really told many people his real name.

"Uh huh. And who is he?" Tucker said, looking to Grif.

"He's Griff, which is spelled with two 'f's," Church answered.

"God damn it! Okay. Now, that's another thing!" Grif said in increasing annoyance.

"Caboose was very specific about that second F," Church said, being serious about that.

"Yeah, and what about the red guy?" Tucker asked finally.

"Well, if he's not Simmons, then I guess he's Sarge. That would make him the gruff and regimented leader of the Red Team," Church answered again.

"Crazy as well..." Rhode Island muttered.

Sarge was pleasantly surprised that he got his self down right, "That actually seems pretty-"

"Just...give him one more second," Tucker interrupted, knowing Church wasn't done yet.

"Which would make him also the captain of their pirate ship," Church finished.

"There it is," Tucker said flatly.

"I am a good storyteller," Caboose said proudly.

"How are you going to tell stories? You can't even READ stories," Tucker asked his idiotic friend.

"I can read," Caboose said, sounding a tiny bit hurt.

"Caboose is the only guy I know of who had an illustrated field manual. He's a moron," Tucker said.

"Seriously? You actually got pictures in your field manual?" Rhode asked, shocked and surprised.

"Well, it helps with the stories to have pictures! Duh!" Caboose argued with Tucker.

"He...sort of has a point...I guess," Nebraska said.

"For the first two months I worked with him, he thought you held grenades over your head, while they shot arrows at the enemy," Tucker explained more on Caboose being incapable of even reading an ILLUSTRATED field manual.

"The diagram could have been a lot more specific," Caboose admittedly said.

"How specific can that even get?" Arkan said, crossing his arms as he was getting annoyed with the immense stupidity that is Caboose.

"Heh, you're lucky. As a recruit, Grif didn't even know what a grenade was! I called it a pineapple. And he tried to swallow it," Sarge said, feeling rather amused at remembering that moment.

"Yeah, well, it still tasted better than those MREs you serve us!" Grif said to him.

"Grif! Show some respect! Do you know how many men died to develop those meals?" Sarge asked, being completely serious about it too.

"I can tell you exactly how many. Everybody who ever tasted one!" Grif said back.

"At least he doesn't kill everyone who suits up for your team," Tucker said, referring to Caboose's many teamkills.

"Oh, yeah, I don't think I really did that," Caboose said, denying that fact.

"Then who did?" Tucker asked, wanting to see how Caboose would answer.

"Okay, stick with me on this, right? What if Church traveled back in time using Wyoming's special ability power...!" Caboose tried to explain something COMPLETELY nonsensical before Tucker interrupted.

"God, shut up! That's completely retarded," Tucker said with a bit of a groan.

"Wyoming can't even travel back in time all that far either! He can only do, what? A few minutes at best?" Rhode Island said.

Grif groans with annoyance, "You guys are idiots!"

"We're idiots?! Says the guys who brought in backup, that isn't really backup!" Nebraska said incredulously.

"What? What about you guys!?" Caboose shouted.

"Who's the real idiot? The idiot, or the idiot who fights him?" Sarge asked, though got that saying wrong.

"What, dude? In either scenario, you're still an idiot," Tucker said.

"Besides, it's 'The idiot, or the idiot who FOLLOWS him'," Rhode said, getting increasingly annoyed with all this.

"Hah! I would expect you to say something like that," Sarge said to both Tucker and Rhode Island.

"Wait, I think they're right," Grif said, agreeing with the aqua armored soldier and the Ex-Freelancer.

"Shut up, Grif! I always thought your armor was yellow, too. Matches your personality," Sarge said, basically insulting Grif and calling him yellowbellied, which is a term used to mean cowardice.

"Hey! You shouldn't be mean to people who work for you, and just want to be your friend!" Caboose said.

"No one tries to do that, but you!" Tucker said.

"It's either you kill them or they kill you sort of deal with wars and shit!" Rhode Island said, adding into the argument between all of them.

"I think you're all a bunch of idiots, and I'm going to fight every one of you!" Sarge shouted.

"I'd like to see you fucking try!" Nebraska yelled.

"Come at me, bitch!" Rhode added in.

Everyone started bickering with one another before Church interrupted, "Everybody, STOP!"

"I AM YELLING ABOUT THINGS, okay I guess we're done now," Caboose said, speaking utter nonsense as usual.

"Alright, listen guys. I may not remember everything right now, but it will come back to me, okay? I can feel it. But I do know this. If we don't work together and destroy this weapon, those guys outside are going to kill a lot of people. And we can't let that happen. So just for a moment, let's set aside our differences and get towards solving this problem together," As Church was giving his speech...he began floating away, "Being in charge is a tough task, but I'm a born leader. So if you follow me, I know I can get us through this. Are you with me?"

"Where are you going?" Grif asked.

"Uh, yeah, I don't seem to have full control over my body yet, but that doesn't invalidate anything I said! I'm still the leader! Fuck! Okay, I'll be right back! No one else take the leader position while I'm gone!" Church said hurriedly as he tried to regain control.

"Okay, bye!" Caboose said.

"This is fucking dumb...I'm going to check supplies and ammo," Rhode said, walking off.

"And I'll go with her," Nebraska said, following his friend.

"Those guys...are the biggest idiots I have ever seen," Arkan said.

"They start up fights all the time! ESPECIALLY that Sarge guy! But...I guess we can't complain so much. We were pretty much the same during our time in Project Freelancer," Rhode said, checking all the available ammo they had stockpiled.

"I guess you're right...but these guys may have some answers we've been looking for," Nebraska said to her.

"Hah! Answers? The only answers we'll get from them is who's the biggest idiot out of them all!" Rhode said, loading a sniper rifle.

"Then they can help us GET answers. Like that guy wearing CT's armor," Neb said, putting a hand on her shoulder, making her tighten her fists.

"Scum like him...I'm going to enjoy killing him for wearing that armor and taking her identity!" Rhode said, punching a wall.

"Getting angry won't solve anything. But I'm guessing this CT person, who this bandit has taken the identity of, was a good friend of yours?" Arkan asked.

"She was a Freelancer agent like us. But she turned out to be a double agent working for a group known as the Insurrection. We have no idea who these guys were, but CT sided with them for some reason. Some of the best agents went to capture her...but that didn't go as planned. Tex came in, orders from the Director himself to KILL her. And if this guy is wearing her armor...then CT is definitely not with us anymore..." Rhode explained sadly.

"I'm sorry for your loss," Arkan said.

"And what about you, Arkan? Normally A.I. are based off the minds of people. Who were you based off of?" Nebraska asked.

"I don't know, to be honest. To my creation, everything is a blur. I resented the military, and they ruled me as a defect and stuck me in that sim trooper outpost. But they didn't know I held files linking to Project Freelancer. So those guys in the black armor certainly wanted the files for their own personal gain. What it was, I don't know," Arkan explained.

"Well, we'll get answers. For all of us," Rhode Island said, loading a pistol.

* * *

 **Krika: And that's it for this chapter, folks. Besides the part with Neb and Rhode speaking along with the Reds and Blues interacting with them, dialogue comes directly from the Red vs Blue series. I seriously recommend you watch it, as it is HILARIOUS and will make your day. But anyway, see you next time on the chapter that wraps up Recreation!**


End file.
